Some things life teaches you. Over and over again, till you get it right.
Maybe the survival skills will be different in the next 50 years? One can ponder and pontificate, but what is retained is what works, no matter the parameter that once was. Ok, ok, I've mumbled enough.
Hope you make it up to your friend.
Jairam
· 9 months ago
Sometimes I feel that even though parents teach things like 'behave normally with everybody you meet' and 'don't discriminate people based on gender, ethnicity, physical attributes, religion, etc', kids nowadays pretty much make these judgements for themselves, correct or otherwise.
In my opinion, these are things that most people decide for themselves rather than being taught by parents, teachers or friends. Yes, there is a compulsive element to somebody reinforcing this message to you time and again, but then again, such compulsions can do only so much. At the end of the day, the inherent assumption is that each individual is a bundle of his earlier experiences, his thoughts and opinions on things, and therefore will end up reacting to different people and things in different ways.
Wow, I just confused myself by the time I completed this particular comment.
| Balu |
· 9 months ago
Can such things be taught? Really? Life and time are the best teachers. Also, children learn from parents so all they need to do is behave in the right manner and the kids might pick it up. When he (sorry for being a sexist) is old enough he will think about the way his parents behave to a scenario and come to a judgment accordingly. It's not just the parents it's anyone who the child really adores.. it could a be a family friend, neighbour, an uncle or an aunt anyone! And hey the cola incident.. I don't think its a big deal.. I understand you feeling uncomfortable abt it.. anyone would have. You can still explain to him the next time you meet :-)
Maan
· 9 months ago
Sometimes I think we as Indians or atleast our generation of Indians, we are raised in a manner which teaches us NOT to accept stuff from people unless it is absolutely essential. Personally I do that do...
p.s: I dont see any comment on my line of thoughts, so perhaps I didnt get the post .. yet..
gauri
· 9 months ago
That was a nice read, Manu. Let me follow my rule of when there's a lot that you have to say, just let go. So I'll just let go.
On another note, I clearly remember this episode of BL. Just love Shore's and Crane's lines.
g
TCWB
· 9 months ago
I cannot help but smile. Why, I do not know. :-)
ghazala
· 9 months ago
hmm... a very reflective post...those (and similar) are the thoughts that occupy most space in my 'parental' reflections. I think i agree with balu in essence. i had a set of parents who gave much importance to tehzeeb and never had the heart to say no to anyone...i have a tough time myself with that. when assert myself i dread letting them down (or their 'legacy' :)and being 'badtameez'. its a tough balancing act. and while i'm busy with my balancing act, i've no idea what my daughter is learning!! :)
Animesh Mukherjee
· 9 months ago
A very intorspective read..being part of a society that teaches us,right from the time we are kids,that saying no(with varying degrees of agressive intent),is impolite and inhumane is certain situations,which ought to be accompanied by a feeling of guilt or would otherwise imply a sadist attitude..this is probably the loophole which people take advantage of..further,i'm of the opinion tht learnin the art of sayin no,is left upto the individual to fathom n accept...tc
manuscrypts
· 9 months ago
austere: yes, they might well be.. and it wasn't a friend, only an acquaintance.. friends are way easier :)
jairam: kids do make up their mind from their experiences and what they see around them..i absolutely agree with you on the 'bundle' part, and that's precisely my point - parents, wittingly or unwittingly provide quite a lot of experiences to kids, and that influences their behaviour...
manuscrypts
· 9 months ago
Balu: yes, we pick up experiences and that determines our behaviour.. when i said 'teach', its more to do with the experiences that parents give their children.. for example, if a kid watched his parent being rude to those 'below' him in a societal set up (waiters, maids etc), he might grow up thinking thats the norm, and may never be objective enough to give it a second thought... i've seen that happen in at least a couple of cases..
Maan: i can identify with that teaching :) PS. of course you've got the post.. since its not exactly a 'specific' post, your takeout might vary, but so what? :)
manuscrypts
· 9 months ago
gauri: love the lines, and Shore's character :)
TCWB: i can't either :|
manuscrypts
· 9 months ago
ghazala: exactly what I replied to Balu... you're objective enough to figure out that 'yes' doesnt work all the time, that doesnt happen always, and even if it does, its sometimes difficult to change what you've picked up for years..
All Comments
Maybe the survival skills will be different in the next 50 years? One can ponder and pontificate, but what is retained is what works, no matter the parameter that once was.
Ok, ok, I've mumbled enough.
Hope you make it up to your friend.
In my opinion, these are things that most people decide for themselves rather than being taught by parents, teachers or friends. Yes, there is a compulsive element to somebody reinforcing this message to you time and again, but then again, such compulsions can do only so much. At the end of the day, the inherent assumption is that each individual is a bundle of his earlier experiences, his thoughts and opinions on things, and therefore will end up reacting to different people and things in different ways.
Wow, I just confused myself by the time I completed this particular comment.
And hey the cola incident.. I don't think its a big deal.. I understand you feeling uncomfortable abt it.. anyone would have. You can still explain to him the next time you meet :-)
p.s: I dont see any comment on my line of thoughts, so perhaps I didnt get the post .. yet..
On another note, I clearly remember this episode of BL. Just love Shore's and Crane's lines.
g
jairam: kids do make up their mind from their experiences and what they see around them..i absolutely agree with you on the 'bundle' part, and that's precisely my point - parents, wittingly or unwittingly provide quite a lot of experiences to kids, and that influences their behaviour...
Maan: i can identify with that teaching :)
PS. of course you've got the post.. since its not exactly a 'specific' post, your takeout might vary, but so what? :)
TCWB: i can't either :|
animesh: agree to that :)